A long overdue post. . .

It’s been a while since I posted and that mere fact saddens me. Imagine being so busy that you have difficulty fitting in something that you truly love. I’ve made some attempts to sit and write but the thoughts were somehow jumbled until now.

I had a doctor’s appointment at 1:00 p.m today. As a result, there are requisitions put in to have further tests done in the next week. I have faith that all will be okay but I can assure you that less than favourable results on the upcoming tests will have a huge impact on my life and of those I hold closest to me. My outlook is positive and bright. I’ll approach this as I have done other things through reflection, humour, wit, sarcasm, and prayer. And don't forget the quotable quotes I adore.

There is nothing like thoughts of what could be to give you a good swift kick in the seat of the pants to reopen your eyes to what is important. Despite my journey of self-awareness, there are still times when negative thoughts creep in which leave me feeling less than appreciated. If I have ever made you feel that way and you never made me aware, I sincerely apologize. If you have done the same to me, f*ck it! Or perhaps that sentiment should come with an overdue "kindly grow the f*ck up"? I digress.

While I was waiting for the doctor to come in the examination room to see me, the overhead lights glared. The paper sheet beneath me crinkled with every slight movement. The silence roared in my ears only to be broken by the far-off sound of the loudspeaker. The hospital's smells brought back memories of new life and death. Knowing that a post was bubbling beneath the surface, I went back and skimmed through my older entries. “Worth the effort?” from July 2017 caught my eye. When I skimmed through, I could not help but be astounded by my growth. Isn’t it something to feel that way as a grown-ass woman? 

In the grand scheme of things, the negativity is not worth it. Much of the pettiness and the bullshit I sometimes hear about and witness on occasion is hardly worth a second thought. If it won't impact you let's say a week from now, it probably wasn't worth bringing up in the first place. Before I start listing further examples, I'll give kudos to Elsa who maybe sang it best in belting out "Let it go!" Perhaps this is my positive pause for the day.