A New Fantastic Point of View (Years in the Making)

Twenty-seven years ago today, I attended my Senior Prom. I’ll be the first to admit that I still feel a slight wave of nostalgia when I hear Peabo Bryson’s “A Whole New World”. (I am certain the theme song was shared with hundreds of graduating classes throughout the country.) As the months have given way to years, I cannot help but wonder where time has gone. I know that 18-year-old me would be pleased with where life has taken her. 

I have a family I love immensely. 

I have a career I truly enjoy.

I am relieved that writing is still one of my passions - as are books.

I still enjoy a wide range of music.

I am happy to have maintained some contact with friends from those bygone days. 

I learned many valuable lessons in my youth that helped lay the foundation of the person I grew to be.

I am opinionated and can confidently express myself on a myriad of topics.

I am firm in my resolve and have no qualms about standing up for what I believe.

I am an introverted extrovert. Given the situation, I can be shy. When I am comfortable, I am gregarious (almost to a fault). I honestly cannot help the endless chatter and the word vomit that flows on occasion.

I am a role model and take great pride in my role as a mother and a teacher. Decades after my prom and graduation exercises, I have told many weepy, frustrated, and uncertain students that there IS life after high school. 

I have always been in awe of people who say that their high school days were the best years of their lives. I respect that! I know I can confidently say that my high school years were not the best years of my life. They were far from it. Yes, I do have some great memories. I had a small circle of friends I still keep in touch with to this very day. Thanks to Facebook, connections have been established and maintained. I went to dances, had sleepovers, had crushes, and dated very few. I wasn't a partier, really, and never got drunk for the first time until I was nineteen. (1996-1997 would have me tell a different story.)   

My teen years had instances of self-doubt and feelings of not being quite good enough. Academically, I was a strong student. Socially, I had insecurities that took years to escape. And if there are times you find me to be a little awkward, blame my formative years.

When I look at the professional photos I had done to mark the momentous occasion of my finishing high school, I see the intense gaze of my dark brown eyes through both images I have shared here. The cap and gown picture displays the smirk of a girl who appeared to be a little reserved for the photographer. My sister did a lovely job with my hair and the little bit of make-up I had worn so I wouldn't look quite so pale. If I recall that day correctly and not through rose-coloured glasses, I know I would have silently prayed for at least one decent image to be hung on the wall. 

The image of me in my prom dress makes me smile. I quite liked my dress's style and colour. And I thoroughly enjoyed the day, the evening, and the safe grad that followed. The image shows a slender and pretty girl. It is funny for me to look back and describe myself in that manner. Despite my family's and best friend's insistence that I was not "gross" (well, "grody" if we're going for historical accuracy here), I couldn't help but feel that way. During that time of my life, and the years that preceded it, the unkind words of peers who thought they were better than many made me feel lesser somehow. I am still proud to say that I did not have to uplift myself by putting others down. I forgave all quite some time ago - though not entirely forgotten. And for my senior year, I had been hellbent on making the experience as positive as possible. A guiding principle has always been to live a life without regrets. And I certainly didn't want any ill feelings to follow me to the next chapter of my life.

Pictures, as we all know, only tell part of a story. The moments captured in time will mean different things to different individuals. Unless there is an accompanying caption, expect varying emotions and interpretations. At this stage of my life, I see the importance of the events that helped shape who I am. I know the countless pictures would spin a familiar narrative, reveal truths, and tell a tale of resiliency.