A Mama Bear's Reflections on Faith

What appears below is the reflection I would have shared at the Pride church service on Sunday, August 16. It was the first of its kind here in Labrador West. Due to circumstances beyond my control, I was unable to attend. Perhaps I'll do a recording before the end of the week. (When I read it aloud expressively, it takes about five minutes to get through.)

    Good morning! I am a member of the Labrador West Pride Committee who is very much looking forward to sharing a reflection with you all. It was truly an honour to be invited to attend this service and I cannot express how happy I am to be here at Carol United Church. 

    I am a Christian who has been an ally of the LGBTQ+ community for quite some time. I have been in the company of individuals whose opinions have been mixed regarding any relationship that exists outside of a heteronormative world view. Most, thankfully, have listened with open ears, an open heart, but most importantly kindness. To be united in love is as natural to me as the sun in the sky or the rains from the heavens. Yet, the concept is still foreign to some when it comes to matters of LGBTQ relationships. It is not my intent to stand here and indoctrinate. Based on my Faith, I know Jesus would have loved our LGBTQ brothers and sisters as complete and whole individuals. What one should not fail to see is the importance of accepting the characteristics and qualities that make each of us unique and not to fear any perceived differences. No person should face judgement based on who they were born to be. I continue to remain hopeful that with time and understanding this will be a reality and ALL will be equal.

    Hope, in a biblical sense, can be defined as a “confident expectation”. By its denotation or literal meaning, it means a wish. To have hope is to make our lives better somehow. Symbolically, the hope that many LGBTQ people feel has been visually represented through the rainbow since the late 1970s. As an outward sign, it’s a show of support and the beautiful primary colours represent, among other things, life and harmony.  To paraphrase Genesis chapter 9 verse 12, the Lord gave Noah the rainbow as a sign of his unending promise between himself and all of humanity for generations to come. Thousands of years separate these two moments in history. Yet, if one were to look more closely, it would feel as though very little time has passed at all. Perhaps the two events are more closely linked than what you or I might have previously realized. The desire to love and live peacefully runs deep. 

    I find myself at a different place in my Faith journey than I would have been, say, two and a half years ago. The mainly positive and few negative experiences will always be a part of me. Due to personal reasons, I have not been a regular churchgoer in a while. Trust me when I say the tears I shed were plenty and the prayers were fervent. My physical absence from the building has nothing to do with my belief in or love for God or Christ.  It has nothing to do with me spiritually. It certainly does not make me a bad person just as attending regular services does not make a person good.  I am steadfast in my belief in and my relationship with Jesus. In times of hardship and grief, there have been pitiable pleas of “Why me?” Or “Why -insert name here-” lifted heavenwards. I am grateful that I am comfortable to converse with Jesus and reach out to him through quiet reflection and prayer. To me, His love is steadfast and true - just as the love I have for the people I hold closest to my heart is unconditional. 

    Aside from the images and text in a vintage collection of books I have belonged to my paternal grandmother, David Hayward (an artist I love) has perhaps provided me with one of the most accurate physical illustrations of Jesus I  have seen. Through his rough little sketches, he shows Jesus as accepting and willing to stand up for what is best for his flock. Jesus is often featured as standing between the marginalized and the ideas or people who oppress them. Hayward encourages all believers to think critically and become closer to being more like Jesus and living lives that reflect that. The Jesus I know and love would not favour one particular group over another. All members of the LGBTQ community need to hold fast to the fact that they are loved by our heavenly father. We are ALL created in His image. Believe me when I say there possibly isn’t a mother who has dug in and read biblical passages with more intensity than one who has been exposed to individuals who spew ignorant perspectives and share misinterpreted scriptures. 

    I’d be a liar if I said I didn’t miss the fellowship of the community at times. Thankfully I know it is just as important to “be” the church. Kindness, love, respect, and acceptance are some of the values that I hold close. Psalm 139 verse 14 celebrates how humans are ". . . fearfully and wonderfully made". There is no exception. Jesus loved others without fail and wanted his followers to do the same. The same sentiment MUST be shared with the LGBTQ community.

    I am a loving and supportive mother to my 18-year-old daughter Emily who happens to be lesbian. (I never imagined I’d ever make such an assertion in a house of worship!) I can’t imagine loving her or supporting her any less than I do. She is bright. She is kind. She is a talented artist and musician. She figure skated for eleven years. Speaking of rainbows, her hair has sported 27 different colours - all at different times. A part of my heart will leave with her when she heads off to university in Halifax to pursue her dreams of studying Fine Arts.   

    Just as her first breath, first words, first steps, and so many other firsts brought new depth and meaning to the relationships within our family circle, so did her admission just days after she had turned 14. After close to two years of self-reflection, she knew she liked girls the way her friends liked boys. Many people had simply assumed that she was a late bloomer because she had shown no interest - aside from friendship - in members of the opposite gender. Her admission shook me a little and I will confess that I cried and feared that she would face prejudice and disrespect. And based on my church teachings, I feared damnation. Connect the dots and you’ll know that my daughter’s absence from the church is interconnected with mine. 

    My desire to support my daughter quickly subsided my tears. Though always a fierce and protective Mama Bear, there were times when I have felt alone on my journey. Surely I thought there must be other open parents of LGBTQ youth around. Thank goodness for the fellowship I’ve found in an online community with thousands of other LGBTQ mothers worldwide called Serendipitydodah - Home of the Mama Bears. I know Emily’s journey is unfolding just as it should. I am so proud and blessed that He entrusted my husband and me with the honour of raising both her and her brother. And how very fortunate she has been to be surrounded by people who love and support her for the wonderful person she is.

    It is through healthy and respectful dialogue and sharing of perspectives that bridges can be built. As Christians, we are encouraged to “Love thy neighbour”. Please continue to recognize how affirming congregations such as yours are so important. Inclusion can make such a huge difference in someone’s life.  Respect and equality coming from a place of understanding truly mean so much. While freedoms of speech, expression, and thought are essential, so is acceptance. I believe in the celebration and certainly not the derision of diversity. Most important of all, I believe in love. The greatest of all always has been and will be LOVE. 

    Thank you so much for your attention this morning.